You may have seen the coverage in the news recently about Kirstie Allsopp flying in business class while her sons (aged 10 and 12, I believe) were seated separately in economy. Her official reason for this, apparently, is so they “don’t get spoiled” and to fly them in business would be “an absurd waste of money”. I want to look at this for a moment. Far from wanting to shame Kirstie, the mainstream media has done enough of that, I feel that her words and deeds are symptomatic of a number of wider societal issues.
If one stops to think about this logically for a moment, her argument has some serious flaws unless of course she denies her children all the other trappings of material wealth such as living in a nice house (I presume they are not banished to a shed at the bottom of the garden, or perhaps something akin to student accommodation until they are earning their own money)?
My over-riding sensation was how very broken our culture must be for me to be seeing these headlines. What kind of culture do we live in where the RCM felt a need to tell midwives not to shame mothers? What kind of culture do we live in where the media are allowed to take one sentence from a large general document and turn it into a massive assault on both midwives and breastfeeding advocates, without any concern for them or the mothers who now feel pressured and didn't before?
With the impending clock change, a few parents have been in touch asking how to cope with it. So we've written down a few top tips to help you navigate it without too much disruption.
Self-care. Urgh. Those 2 words. I hate them. I can (almost) literally see them dripping with guilt, oozing with indulgence and selfishness. I hate it when people bandy about the term, telling us that we must practise ‘self-care’ with the underlying accusation that we aren’t enough. We aren’t doing enough. We’re doing it wrong. Whatever that ‘it’ is.
When I applied to train as a BabyCalm & ToddlerCalm teacher back in 2013 I was apprehensive, I didn’t feel like I ‘fit’ or that I was a a good enough ‘gentle parent’ to do this. And without the encouragement of one of my best friends, I wouldn't have gone. Her opinion mattered to me and because she thought that I was 'enough' I took the leap and applied.
When I arrived at training I was terrified that I was inadequate & that I everyone would think I was a fraud, rubbish at this parenting lark & certainly not good enough to go out and 'teach' other parents but I was eager to learn more, if not to teach but for myself and my son.
A preface to this post – I am talking here about babies who do not have a medical need to be weaned early and who are not under the care of a medical professional
‘Aha!’ many people might be saying, ‘Those are clear signs that she needs food! Milk isn’t enough for her any more! And she’s so interested in watching you eat, she’s desperate to do it too!’
You may have seen various news articles being published today and over the weekend in regards to the number of infant deaths 'caused' by co-sleeping. What we are actually talking about is bed-sharing (parent & baby sharing same sleep surface) rather than co-sleeping (sharing the same room for sleeping).
Whilst these figures look alarming and our heart and support goes out to every single family that has suffered from the loss of their baby, it is important to remember that the cause of SIDS remains unknown and in the case of those babies who sadly died no-one can confirm that bed-sharing was the cause of their death.
Our aim is, and has always been to provide parents with evidence-based information so you are empowered to make safe, informed choices for you and your baby. So how can you keep your baby safe and stay sane?