A letter to my daughter

Your arrival in this world felt dramatic and decisive. It was as if, once you’d decided it was time, there was no stopping you. Finding out we had a daughter was exquisite and terrifying, all rolled into one. And you’ve been a blessing ever since. ​

When I look at you, I see me, too. I see the little girl I was, full of fire and passion. The little girl who had a strong sense of self and who would fight tooth and nail for fairness and justice. I see the little girl who knew what she wanted and went for it, no holds barred. I see the little girl who gave no shits what anyone thought – she dressed as she pleased, played how she liked and chatted with anyone who’d listen. I see the little girl whose beautiful soul shone through her big blue eyes. The little girl who was brimming with confidence, hope and attitude.

Never lose that my darling girl. Never lose that trusting, generous nature. Never lose the empathy you show towards all living creatures. Never lose your gentleness nor your fire. Never stop standing up for what you believe in. Never let anyone tell you that you aren’t good enough just as you are. Never let the world erode the belief you have in yourself.
When I look at you, I see so much promise. So much light. So much opportunity. You really can be anything you want to be. You can be a dancer. A poet. An engineer. A doctor. You can be an entrepreneur or an activist. You truly can do it all, it just takes courage to follow your heart and listen to your soul.

When all around you is noisy, find that place of quiet inside you. Open your heart and your mind and don’t be afraid to listen to your instincts. Nurture your mind as you nurture your body. Treat them both as precious resources and know that you have choices at every turn. Eat food from nature and then enjoy that chocolate cake. You don’t need to feel guilty, just joyful. Move your body because it’s fun and you want to, not because you should. Ignore the images you’ll be bombarded with – your body is beautiful, functional, strong and amazing just as it is. Treat it well and it’ll treat you well.

Know that other people’s opinions about you are none of your business. They don’t define you and they don’t need to change you. You may not be liked by everyone and that’s okay. People that don’t get you are not your people. Walk away and find your own niche. You belong to you, if you love yourself you give other people permission to love you too.

Remember that you don’t need to please everyone. It’s not your job to make other people happy. Happiness comes from the inside. Be kind, be caring and be thoughtful but don’t be a doormat. Say no if you don’t want to do something and ditch the guilt. Say yes to fun. Say yes to opportunities. Say yes to love. Cherish your relationships and bare your soul. Be vulnerable and real. Show the people you love who you really are. We all have darkness in us, expose it to the light. Our vulnerability makes us human. It makes us more loveable. Don’t be afraid to show your core to others.

Be kind to yourself. Speak to yourself with affection. Forgive yourself when you make bad choices and then learn from them. Don’t be afraid to use your voice and shout your passions from the rooftops.

Always remember that there is (and only ever will be) one YOU. One glorious, unique you. Share yourself with the world. Don’t hide your light. And never forget, you define success on your own terms.

I can’t wait to see the woman you become but I’m enjoying the child you are. Every moment with you is filled with delight, frustration, pride and an overwhelming love. I can’t believe I had a hand in making such a perfectly imperfect human being, your impact on the world and on the people you love is going to be profound. You are my proudest moment and I love you.
​

Lauren Partington - CalmFamily York & North Yorkshire

Lauren was born and raised in South Africa before moving to York to attend university; where she fell in love with the city (and her now husband). After almost a decade as a primary school teacher, Lauren left education of one kind and moved into another. Now a certified CalmFamily parenting consultant and owner of 'Extraordinary [Ordinary] Mum', Lauren supports mothers find their calm, understand their children and build a life based on strong, positive principles. She's the proud mother to two feisty children who have taught her what the parenting books never could... what being a mother really means.