• Almost always open
CalmFamily
  • FIND US
    Local consultant
  • CALL or TEXT
    (44) 07943 064 853​
  • EMAIL US
    hello@calmfamily.org
  • Preparing for baby
  • Home
    • About CalmFamily
    • Meet the team
    • Contact us
    • Media and press
    • FAQs
  • Family education
    • BirthCalm
      • Birth choices workshop
      • Caesarean birth workshop
      • Birth after caesarean workshop
      • Pregnancy calming classes
      • Your calm birth course
    • BabyCalm
      • Preparing for baby course
      • Fourth trimester
      • The new baby course
      • Calmer beginnings group
      • Calmer babies workshop
      • Building babies brains workshop
      • The developing baby course
      • Calmer baby sleep
      • Calmer weaning workshop
    • ToddlerCalm
      • Toddler behaviour
      • Toddler sleep
      • Toddler eating
      • Building better brains
      • Toilet learning
      • ToddlerCalm course
    • NurtureCalm... loading
      • Nurturing newborns
      • Nurturing baby
      • NurtureCalm toddler
      • NurtureCalm develop
    • ChildCalm - coming 2020
  • Professional education
    • Development events
      • CPD November Manchester
    • Consultant training
    • More coming soon
  • Find support
    • Find a consultant
      • South Central
      • South East
      • South West
      • London
      • West England and Wales
      • East England
      • Home Counties
      • Midlands
      • Yorkshire
      • Lancashire
      • North West & Cumbria
      • Scotland
      • Northern Ireland
      • The Channel Islands
      • International
    • CalmFamily online support hub
    • Bonnie Parenting online community (for Scotland)
  • Training
    • New online consultant training
    • Dates and booking 2021
    • Training information
    • Consultant specialisms
      • Birth specialist training
      • Baby specialist training
      • Toddler specialist training
      • Nurture specialist training
      • Child specialist training
    • Training FAQs
    • Community membership
  • Blog
  • Hire & buy
    • Free stretchy wrap hire
    • Carrying
    • Calming
    • Sleeping
    • Playing
    • Eating
    • It's a Sling Thing
  • Home
    • About CalmFamily
    • Meet the team
    • Contact us
    • Media and press
    • FAQs
  • Family education
    • BirthCalm
      • Birth choices workshop
      • Caesarean birth workshop
      • Birth after caesarean workshop
      • Pregnancy calming classes
      • Your calm birth course
    • BabyCalm
      • Preparing for baby course
      • Fourth trimester
      • The new baby course
      • Calmer beginnings group
      • Calmer babies workshop
      • Building babies brains workshop
      • The developing baby course
      • Calmer baby sleep
      • Calmer weaning workshop
    • ToddlerCalm
      • Toddler behaviour
      • Toddler sleep
      • Toddler eating
      • Building better brains
      • Toilet learning
      • ToddlerCalm course
    • NurtureCalm... loading
      • Nurturing newborns
      • Nurturing baby
      • NurtureCalm toddler
      • NurtureCalm develop
    • ChildCalm - coming 2020
  • Professional education
    • Development events
      • CPD November Manchester
    • Consultant training
    • More coming soon
  • Find support
    • Find a consultant
      • South Central
      • South East
      • South West
      • London
      • West England and Wales
      • East England
      • Home Counties
      • Midlands
      • Yorkshire
      • Lancashire
      • North West & Cumbria
      • Scotland
      • Northern Ireland
      • The Channel Islands
      • International
    • CalmFamily online support hub
    • Bonnie Parenting online community (for Scotland)
  • Training
    • New online consultant training
    • Dates and booking 2021
    • Training information
    • Consultant specialisms
      • Birth specialist training
      • Baby specialist training
      • Toddler specialist training
      • Nurture specialist training
      • Child specialist training
    • Training FAQs
    • Community membership
  • Blog
  • Hire & buy
    • Free stretchy wrap hire
    • Carrying
    • Calming
    • Sleeping
    • Playing
    • Eating
    • It's a Sling Thing

The CalmFamily community blog

Categories

All
Acceptance
Activities
Babies
Baby Experts
Baby Products
Baby Sleep
Babywearing
Behaviour
Birth
Bonding
Children
Christmas
Collaborative Business
Connection
Coparenting
Danielle Heap
Discipline
Emily Wilding Fackrell
Equality
Expectations
Infant Feeding
Mothers
Neuropsychology
Pregnancy
Professionals
Rhythm
Screen Time
Siblings
Teenagers
Toddler
Toddlers
Travel

Archives

April 2020
March 2020
February 2020
January 2020
December 2019
November 2019
October 2019
September 2019
August 2019
July 2019
June 2019
May 2019
March 2019
November 2018
September 2018
July 2018
June 2018
March 2018
February 2018
January 2018
October 2017
September 2017
March 2017
January 2017
November 2016
May 2016
January 2016
January 2014
December 2013
October 2013
August 2013
July 2013
June 2013
May 2013
April 2013
March 2013
February 2013
January 2013
October 2012
September 2012
May 2012
April 2012
February 2012

Am I a 'gentle parent'?

8/3/2018

0 Comments

 
Picture
When I applied to train as a BabyCalm & ToddlerCalm teacher back in 2013 I was apprehensive, I didn’t feel like I ‘fit’ or that I was a a good enough ‘gentle parent’ to do this. And without the encouragement of one of my best friends, I wouldn't have gone. Her opinion mattered to me and because she thought that I was 'enough' I took the leap and applied. 
When I arrived at training I was terrified that I was inadequate & that I everyone would think I was a fraud, rubbish at this parenting lark & certainly not good enough to go out and 'teach' other parents but I was eager to learn more, if not to teach but for myself and my son. ​

Why? 

​Because I formula fed my baby, because I had him via c-section, because I didn’t co-sleep and I’d never used a sling to carry him, I wasn’t a SAHM and my baby went to nursery for 24 hours a week from being 5 months old. I had parented him how I instinctively felt was 'right' and my maternal instinct was strong, I couldn't ignore it, not matter how much I tried or how many times people told me I 'needed' to leave him or it was 'unhealthy' to want to spend so much time with my baby. But by no means did I think I ticked the boxes to be a true 'gentle parent'. 

Through 5 days of intensive training & everything I discovered, others stories and experiences I thought more and more that I couldn’t possibly be this ‘gentle parent’, most other people were passionate about baby wearing or passionate about breastfeeding and I was 'different', my parenting journey so far sounded different, maybe I actually wasn't supposed to be here, supposed to be connecting with these people?

But the more I let my guard down and stopped judging myself, I grew and I realised that being a ‘gentle parent’ isn’t about ticking co-sleeping, babywearing, breastfeeding boxes, gentle parenting is about responsive, empathetic and compassionate parenting. It’s about being passionate about raising the next generation to be kind and caring and understanding. But above all it’s about respect. Respect for your babies, respect for your children and respect for each other - regardless of their parenting choices and journeys.

In fact, I am not sure that the label of "gentle parent" is that helpful. I know we all like to use these labels to fit into a group, to identify our people and feel like we belong. But what if that process just serves to leave people out? What is it makes parents feel inadequate, like I did. The thing that I loved about the group of people I met, is that they didn't care about any of that, they just looked for a way to empathise and connect with my story and to support me.

We often get people enquiring about joining CalmFamily who don’t think that they ‘qualify’ and don’t think they are ‘good enough’. You are, just like I was because CalmFamily is about informing choice. It's about empathising with parents and children equally and understanding each other better. So what do we all have in common to make us a family? We all believe passionately about changing the next generation for the better and about informing and supporting parents so they can enjoy their children and their lives. Is this you?

Danielle Heap - Director of Community 


    Interested in joining our family and supporting parents? 

Submit
0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    Categories

    All
    Acceptance
    Activities
    Babies
    Baby Experts
    Baby Products
    Baby Sleep
    Babywearing
    Behaviour
    Birth
    Bonding
    Children
    Christmas
    Collaborative Business
    Connection
    Coparenting
    Danielle Heap
    Discipline
    Emily Wilding Fackrell
    Equality
    Expectations
    Infant Feeding
    Mothers
    Neuropsychology
    Pregnancy
    Professionals
    Rhythm
    Screen Time
    Siblings
    Teenagers
    Toddler
    Toddlers
    Travel

    Archives

    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    March 2019
    November 2018
    September 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    October 2017
    September 2017
    March 2017
    January 2017
    November 2016
    May 2016
    January 2016
    January 2014
    December 2013
    October 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    October 2012
    September 2012
    May 2012
    April 2012
    February 2012

    RSS Feed

Picture

  Company


about
contact
testimonials
terms and conditions
privacy policy
meet the team
faqs
blog
media & press
shop and library
consultant log in

Contact


hello@calmfamily.org
07943 064853
Find local services

 ​Receive our emails


Sign up
Photos used under Creative Commons from Ah Wei (Lung Wei), philwarren, treehouse1977
© Copyright ​2016-2019 CalmFamily CIC