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Can I Help, Mum?

14/10/2019

1 Comment

 
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​“Can I help, mum?”

How many times have we heard this from our toddlers? When we're making dinner, hanging up the washing, cleaning the windows.

My daughter asks this as I am about to make some pizza dough for dinner tonight.

I hesitate. It would be so much easier, cleaner, and quicker on my own - but can I say yes?

This time I can (sometimes we can't).



She gets her step and brings it to the edge of the work surface. As she's scooping and pouring and mixing the ingredients there is flour going everywhere.

I take deep breaths, saying to myself, “It's ok, it will still rise, I can wipe the mess up after.”
 
As she is rolling out the dough she looks at me. “I love helping you”. My heart could melt.

I almost said no. This experience almost didn't happen. It is pretty stressful for me, but she loved it - she felt valued, capable, and part of the team.

Have you ever wondered why our toddlers don't help tidy up, or why we have to moan at our older children to help clear the table or load the dishwasher?

Maybe we've said no too many times. After a while it didn't feel like it was something we wanted them to do. And now that they are at an age where they might be of actual use, they've stopped asking and no longer find it fun.

They don't feel like part of the team. They don't feel valued.

Even though an 18 month old helping hang out the washing or a 2 year old cleaning the windows will make the task twice as long today, it can help to make them feel a valued part of the family and they are more likely to continue to enjoy and participate in household activities for years to come. And you never know, you may make some wonderful memories working together at your everyday tasks.

Kristy Munday- Raising Myself and ToddlerCalm Cambourne

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I'm Kristy, Mummy to Lana and wife to James, and we live just outside Cambridge. I am passionate about becoming compassionate in all aspects of my life, to children to adults, to the environment and to animals. I also love being outside in nature (when it's not too rainy, cold or hot), watching a movie, reading a book and generally sitting doing nothing. I am here to help support parents in the most challenging times, and help them to parent the way they want to, confidently, compassionately and consciously.

​I'm Kristy, Mummy to Lana and wife to James, and we live just outside Cambridge. I am passionate about becoming compassionate in all aspects of my life, to children to adults, to the environment and to animals. I also love being outside in nature (when it's not too rainy, cold or hot), watching a movie, reading a book and generally sitting doing nothing. I am here to help support parents in the most challenging times, and help them to parent the way they want to, confidently, compassionately and consciously.
1 Comment
Laura
17/11/2019 10:43:48 pm

Thank you for a beautiful reminder to say yes...I have a 5 year old, 3 year old and 10 week old so feeling rather frazzled, and I know that has affected my own patience which has in turn affected the number of conflicts we’ve probably had in our house as a result of me saying ‘no’....although I’m already taking lots of deep breaths as you say, I will look for more opportunities to say yes more, it’s not about being perfect it’s about doing things together. Hope that makes sense...I should be asleep but as it’s the first time I’ve put my 10 week old down at night and she’s not woken, I’m relishing the time to be awake and by myself!!!

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