​When a special holiday comes around, in particular the festive season, it is really common for our children to have big feelings. If you have children who are old enough to get excited, I’m pretty sure that you’ll have experienced this strange phenomenon. If you have a toddler, maybe you’ve noticed they seem unusually overwhelmed. It’s likely that you; like me, will have wondered why on earth your children are behaving so out of character, when you’re trying so hard to make this time of year so magical for them! 

Parenting with your partner is hard, but when it's your ex-partner you're working with to raise your children things get a whole new level of complicated. I have a whole set of ex-partners that I'm co-parenting with, well 3 to be precise and I'll be the first to admit I don't get it right every time, far from it in fact. 

​There are reasons these people are my ex-partners, but that's not what's important here. I have children that I'm parenting with these people, so my focus on how I feel about them as partners, as people, has to be shifted so that the emphasis is on how to work with them as parents. It's far from easy and there are always big emotions involved on both sides, but I have found way to make things easier, here are my top tips 

We often talk to parents in a bit of a panic because they have booked their dream holiday with their child or children and when the reality of the long haul flight (or even just a short flight with an energetic toddler) sinks in, they don't know where to turn or how to keep them calm, and keep themselves calm. So we have put together some top tips for having a calm-er flight experience with a baby or toddler. We hope you like them:

​I’ve just seen this doing the rounds on Facebook, and I love it.
 
I love it for two reasons.
 
Firstly, because a time out is exactly what parents need sometimes.  And a time out that feels like a treat, like something special, is just what our overwhelmed, stressed out selves need to regroup.
 
I’m not (necessarily) advocating getting drunk to cope with parenting.  But I want to emphasise the concept that a time out for a parent should consist of something that that parent likes! And that helps that parent to feel restored and revitalised. 
 
Time out should FEEL GOOD!
 
And the second reason I like this picture, is because the idea of time out being a chance for a treat, can be equally applied to children as it is to their parents.
 
Children (just like us adults) act out when they are overwhelmed. 
 
Think about the moments that you snap at your partner? Are you tired? Hungry? Feeling unappreciated? Facing unrealistic expectations? Still processing a stressful day at work?
 
We act out when we are overloaded and overwhelmed, and our children are exactly the same.  Every time there is some seemingly purposeful negative behaviour from our child, have a think as to what the underlying reason might be.
 
I have a list of five things that seem to be at the heart of every single problem behaviour I see in my kids: