• Almost always open
CalmFamily
  • FIND US
    Local consultant
  • CALL or TEXT
    (44) 07943 064 853​
  • EMAIL US
    hello@calmfamily.org
  • Preparing for baby
  • Home
    • About CalmFamily
    • Meet the team
    • Contact us
    • Media and press
    • FAQs
  • Family education
    • BirthCalm
      • Birth choices workshop
      • Caesarean birth workshop
      • Birth after caesarean workshop
      • Pregnancy calming classes
      • Your calm birth course
    • BabyCalm
      • Preparing for baby course
      • Fourth trimester
      • The new baby course
      • Calmer beginnings group
      • Calmer babies workshop
      • Building babies brains workshop
      • The developing baby course
      • Calmer baby sleep
      • Calmer weaning workshop
    • ToddlerCalm
      • Toddler behaviour
      • Toddler sleep
      • Toddler eating
      • Building better brains
      • Toilet learning
      • ToddlerCalm course
    • NurtureCalm... loading
      • Nurturing newborns
      • Nurturing baby
      • NurtureCalm toddler
      • NurtureCalm develop
    • ChildCalm - coming 2020
  • Professional education
    • Development events
      • CPD November Manchester
    • Consultant training
    • More coming soon
  • Find support
    • Find a consultant
      • South Central
      • South East
      • South West
      • London
      • West England and Wales
      • East England
      • Home Counties
      • Midlands
      • Yorkshire
      • Lancashire
      • North West & Cumbria
      • Scotland
      • Northern Ireland
      • The Channel Islands
      • International
    • CalmFamily online support hub
    • Bonnie Parenting online community (for Scotland)
  • Training
    • New online consultant training
    • Dates and booking 2021
    • Training information
    • Consultant specialisms
      • Birth specialist training
      • Baby specialist training
      • Toddler specialist training
      • Nurture specialist training
      • Child specialist training
    • Training FAQs
    • Community membership
  • Blog
  • Hire & buy
    • Free stretchy wrap hire
    • Carrying
    • Calming
    • Sleeping
    • Playing
    • Eating
    • It's a Sling Thing
  • Home
    • About CalmFamily
    • Meet the team
    • Contact us
    • Media and press
    • FAQs
  • Family education
    • BirthCalm
      • Birth choices workshop
      • Caesarean birth workshop
      • Birth after caesarean workshop
      • Pregnancy calming classes
      • Your calm birth course
    • BabyCalm
      • Preparing for baby course
      • Fourth trimester
      • The new baby course
      • Calmer beginnings group
      • Calmer babies workshop
      • Building babies brains workshop
      • The developing baby course
      • Calmer baby sleep
      • Calmer weaning workshop
    • ToddlerCalm
      • Toddler behaviour
      • Toddler sleep
      • Toddler eating
      • Building better brains
      • Toilet learning
      • ToddlerCalm course
    • NurtureCalm... loading
      • Nurturing newborns
      • Nurturing baby
      • NurtureCalm toddler
      • NurtureCalm develop
    • ChildCalm - coming 2020
  • Professional education
    • Development events
      • CPD November Manchester
    • Consultant training
    • More coming soon
  • Find support
    • Find a consultant
      • South Central
      • South East
      • South West
      • London
      • West England and Wales
      • East England
      • Home Counties
      • Midlands
      • Yorkshire
      • Lancashire
      • North West & Cumbria
      • Scotland
      • Northern Ireland
      • The Channel Islands
      • International
    • CalmFamily online support hub
    • Bonnie Parenting online community (for Scotland)
  • Training
    • New online consultant training
    • Dates and booking 2021
    • Training information
    • Consultant specialisms
      • Birth specialist training
      • Baby specialist training
      • Toddler specialist training
      • Nurture specialist training
      • Child specialist training
    • Training FAQs
    • Community membership
  • Blog
  • Hire & buy
    • Free stretchy wrap hire
    • Carrying
    • Calming
    • Sleeping
    • Playing
    • Eating
    • It's a Sling Thing

The CalmFamily community blog

Categories

All
Acceptance
Activities
Babies
Baby Experts
Baby Products
Baby Sleep
Babywearing
Behaviour
Birth
Bonding
Children
Christmas
Collaborative Business
Connection
Coparenting
Danielle Heap
Discipline
Emily Wilding Fackrell
Equality
Expectations
Infant Feeding
Mothers
Neuropsychology
Pregnancy
Professionals
Rhythm
Screen Time
Siblings
Teenagers
Toddler
Toddlers
Travel

Archives

April 2020
March 2020
February 2020
January 2020
December 2019
November 2019
October 2019
September 2019
August 2019
July 2019
June 2019
May 2019
March 2019
November 2018
September 2018
July 2018
June 2018
March 2018
February 2018
January 2018
October 2017
September 2017
March 2017
January 2017
November 2016
May 2016
January 2016
January 2014
December 2013
October 2013
August 2013
July 2013
June 2013
May 2013
April 2013
March 2013
February 2013
January 2013
October 2012
September 2012
May 2012
April 2012
February 2012

New year - new parenting goals

5/1/2017

0 Comments

 
In the new year, many people are either making resolutions to "do better" in some parts of their lives or are setting goals for the coming year. The people I talk to are nearly all parents and aside from the obvious "eating less and exercising more" pledges, their wishes for the future and regrets about the past are related to how well they think they are parenting. Many people feel that they are doing a terrible job and there are a few really important things to consider:
Picture
The 1. You aren't doing a terrible job

I promise you!

If you are here reading this blog then I already know that you are doing better than you may think you are. The genuinely bad parents out there (and sadly there are some) don't care about how good their parenting is. They aren't fussed about reading blogs about parenting and they don't notice that anything is wrong. So no matter what you are listing in your head right this minute to convince yourself that I am wrong and you are in fact a terrible parent, you're not.

Could you do better? Maybe. To be honest, we could all do better. No matter how well we are doing, we can all try a little harder each day or know a little more. It's worth trying, right?

2. It's a new year, not a parallel universe - be realistic

I personally have never loved "new year's resolutions" as they are usually unreasonable, unrealistic and within a few weeks, lead to a feeling of failure. I hear lots of parents vowing to "never use their phone in the presence of their children again" or to "never shout again" or that their child is "not watching the TV again" and that lasts a few days - or in some cases (including mine) a few hours.

It's all very well recognising that there are things you would like to change in the way that you parent; in fact it's great. We should all strive to do and be better for ourselves and for our children. BUT, we are not going to change the whole world, who we are or who our children are, and certainly not all at once in January this year.

So, whatever your specific concern is (screen-time, shouting, activities...) - start slowly, gather some information and remember that taking first steps is better than no steps.

3. Set goals, be smart and take positive action

When taking your steps, setting yourself goals will help you, especially if you are smart about it:

Specific - make your goal clear and unambiguous
Measurable - write down how you will know if you've been successful
Achievable - make sure you don't over-reach, smaller goals are better
Realistic - don't expect lots of change too soon and don't expect other people to change
Time-based - always have a time-frame for achieving your goal

Once you have done this, you will have a direction in which to take your steps forward. Then it’s knowing how to get there.

Picture
​4. Know better, do better

At BabyCalm and ToddlerCalm, we value information. We think that parents are the experts in their own children, not us, and we help parents make their own decisions by providing evidence-based information. We help parents know better, so they can choose to do the best they can for their family.

As such, we have an acronym to help parents with their children ’s behaviour (CRUCIAL). We suggest that if you would like to improve your parenting style this year, you could focus on one of the first four areas of this to get started:
Control
Children’s lives are often controlled by adults. Giving your child more control when it’s possible will mean they don’t try to take control when it’s inappropriate. Be careful not to give them too much choice; kids need boundaries to feel safe too.

Rhythm
Make sure there is a rhythm to your child’s life and they have a sense of what comes next.

Understanding
At BabyCalm and ToddlerCalm we provide information on psychology, neurobiology, biology of sleep, eating and the importance of play in development. This helps parents to understand what is happening for their children more fully and empathise with them.

Communication
Effective communication with children can be tricky as their brains are different from ours. Make sure you keep communication at their level.

5. Be kind to yourself

It is very normal to try and improve your parenting and then resort to old habits. I do it all the time. Remember that you are only human and are allowed to make mistakes. The moments when your parenting response isn’t exactly how you would have wanted it to be are a fantastic opportunity to show your children how to be sorry. This is a much more effective way of them learning to be and say sorry when they make mistakes and so is an important part of parenting too.​

Thank you for reading.
​
Want to know more?

​If you want to know more about CRUCIAL, including working examples, or you want to learn about toddler psychology and brain development to help your understanding, find your local ToddlerCalm teacher and book a workshop or the amazing ToddlerCalm Parenting course where you will cover everything from behaviour, sleep, eating and play.
Picture
0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    Categories

    All
    Acceptance
    Activities
    Babies
    Baby Experts
    Baby Products
    Baby Sleep
    Babywearing
    Behaviour
    Birth
    Bonding
    Children
    Christmas
    Collaborative Business
    Connection
    Coparenting
    Danielle Heap
    Discipline
    Emily Wilding Fackrell
    Equality
    Expectations
    Infant Feeding
    Mothers
    Neuropsychology
    Pregnancy
    Professionals
    Rhythm
    Screen Time
    Siblings
    Teenagers
    Toddler
    Toddlers
    Travel

    Archives

    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    March 2019
    November 2018
    September 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    October 2017
    September 2017
    March 2017
    January 2017
    November 2016
    May 2016
    January 2016
    January 2014
    December 2013
    October 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    October 2012
    September 2012
    May 2012
    April 2012
    February 2012

    RSS Feed

Picture

  Company


about
contact
testimonials
terms and conditions
privacy policy
meet the team
faqs
blog
media & press
shop and library
consultant log in

Contact


hello@calmfamily.org
07943 064853
Find local services

 ​Receive our emails


Sign up
Photos used under Creative Commons from Ah Wei (Lung Wei), philwarren, treehouse1977
© Copyright ​2016-2019 CalmFamily CIC